Old Reckless Library Lady

Today I went to the library during my lunch break to pick up the 2nd book in a series I'm reading. The online library catalog said they had it in the "new fiction" section. But when I got in there I couldn't find it in that section. Frustrating. I needed that book real bad so I had no choice- I had to ask a librarian for help. I hate asking for help. The librarian was nice enough (and complimented my shoes so of course I liked her)she went off on a book hunt and I waited at the front desk. While I was standing there an old lady got in line behind me. She was wearing an elastic waist cotton dress and ked tennis shoes. We were just standing there waiting and then I heard... Gas being passed. Quite loudly. It was just the old lady and I, and I know it wasn't me, so it had to be her! I giggled to myself. The librarian arrived with my book and on my way out I heard what the gassy old lady was waiting in line for- her books were overdue and she wanted to pay her fine. WHAT? Careless, reckless gas passer was waiting in line to responsibly pay her library fine? Talk about extreme opposites! What a lady.

Squinting

I wear contacts. Typically I go to the eye doctor, load up on contacts and don't return to the dr till my last pair of lenses gets funky. Well ... The time has arrived. My right lense is blurry. Today I made my pilgramage to the optometrist, got a new prescription, ordered more contacts, and had my eyes dilated.

At work I've been working on a few special projects, all on quick deadlines. That didn't cross my mind when the eye dr asked if it'd be okay if she dilated my eyes. When I returned to work with my enlarged pupils I couldn't read anything on my computer screen, and I needed to make several board-worthy spreadsheets due today! I squinted and guessed my way around to figure out how to make my monitor suitable for a 90 year old blind woman. The big boss picked that moment to drop by and ask how his spreadsheets were coming. I smiled and told him I'd be finished soon (didn't mention it was dependent on me regaining my sight). After a few painful hours I could see and I finished his project. I think I learned my dilation lesson.

Time Waster or Life Improver?

I came to the library after work to use their free wifi (and return some stuff, it was overdue and my fine will probably go from $6 to $9...  they might put me in jail).  I don't have internet at my apartment, so we'll see how this works.  I've come across some fun links in the past couple months and wanted to share them.  They might just waste your time, or they might change your life forever.  :)

Create starbucks drinks!  Who knew there was a sweet espresso called ristretto?  I love the creativity.

Color palette generator.  You give the website a picture, and it gives you an exact match of a color scheme, both a bold and muted.  Nice.  In one of my last posts I mentioned this picture I got from ikea.  So I went to the website, right clicked on the image of the picture, viewed info, copied the url listed, then pasted it in the color palette generator.  Viola!  There are the colors to use to decorate! 

Free junk.  I've always known craigslist had a free section, but for some reason it has become more appealing to me.  If you check it regularly you can find some great stuff.  Well, maybe not "great", but certainly entertaining.  Free pony rides, goat manure, 5 lb handheld barbell, and a giant mirror are all listed right now.  If that giant mirror wasn't so far away I'd probably go get it.

Note to self:  library internet is awful.  I think it times out every 3 minutes.  Get an iPhone and all life's problems will be solved.

Pick Up Lines

Yesterday I had to pick up some medication at the pharmacy.  I got in line and tried to wait patiently.  A lady pulled up her cart behind me and said, "Is this the line to pick up?"  "Yes."  "Oh good."   Then the oooold man in front of me turned to me and said, "This is the pick up line?"  "Yes."  (that's what I just said to the lady behind me!) He gave a little smile and said, "You come here often?"  WHAAAAAT?!  I tried to look as if something else a couple aisles over really had my attention and he said, "That's a pick up line."  Excellent.  Good thing I took an extra 30 seconds to put on lip gloss before entering the store... so a 90-year-old man with severe dandruff could hit on me, and then clarify that he was hitting on me.  I guess it was a funny joke, but still awkward.  I got my stuff and left the store thinking, "Why is it only weirdos who talk to me?  Why couldn't it have been a dashing young man?"

Then I went to Ross to get curtains for my new apartment.  The store was a zoo and the line was looong.  I thought I was getting at the end of the line, but I realized a guy had been standing at the back of the line from a different angle (between the clothes racks instead of off to the side).  When I finally got to the front of the line he was beside me and it wasn't clear who was next.  Was he first, or was I first?  I said, "Go ahead."  He said, "Oh no, you can go."  I said, "I think you were waiting first."  And he said, "Yes, I think I was, but I'm trying to be a gentleman."  My jaw hit the floor.  A guy between the ages of 20-40 who was going out of his way to be a gentleman?  Yeeeaaaaah!!!  God, bless that man!

Lesson learned?  Pickup lines are awkward...  BOTH types of pickup lines.  Chivalry goes much further in impressing a lady.

 http://www.badges-r-us.com/Engraved-Signs.html

Potty Training at Ikea

Tonight my wonderful parents took me to Ikea.  It is waaaaay across town, so before we started the journey we stopped at Quik Trip and I got my new favorite drink- Sprite with a splash of cherry (it is almost as good as a cherry limeade).  I decided to use one of the new styrofoam cups instead of the normal plastic cup.  I paid my dollar, got in the car, and we were on our way.

I love Ikea.  I love the perfect, stylish rooms they set up.  A living room with a gray wall, a bed room with a bed canopy featuring a chandelier in the center, a kitchen with shiny red cabinets...  love it!  And what is it about their display of couches that makes it impossible to pass by without sitting in every single model?  So, after an hour or so of meandering through the store, random stuff in hand, we made our way to the cash registers.  While waiting for the next available self-serve station, someone cut in front of us!  They snuck in from the food side!  Jerks.  When I walked by them I said quite loudly, "WOW, THAT LINE WASN'T TOO BAD AT ALL!"  (I'm out of control, I know)  My family was going to get cinnamon rolls on our way out, but they were out.  Quite disappointing.  We got to the car and successfully finagled the random stuff in the trunk and back seat (what's a trip to Ikea without some random stuff finagling?)  

I took my place in the backseat, picked up my Quik Trip cherry Sprite, took a drink, then I put the styrofoam cup between my legs (no cupholder).  I guess I kinda squashed the styrofoam cup, because I suddenly had a tidal wave of cold liquid in my crotch.  Thank goodness my dad hadn't started the car yet.  I screamed and jumped out of my seat... then realized I was standing in the middle of the crowded Ikea parking lot with a dripping crotch.  My mom started handing me napkins and I tried to dry myself as discreetly as possible, but I'm sure the two guys walking by noticed me laughing my head off, dabbing a napkin on my dripping rear end.  And then I got to sit in my cold wet pants all the way back across town. 

Grocery Store Chivalry

This afternoon I ran to the grocery store to get more cookie dough for a fruit pizza (1 tube of dough is enough for a mini-pizza, a BIG pizza takes 3 tubes).  As I was walking up to the front door I noticed a man several steps behind me.  He shouted, "Let me get the door for you, Miss!"  I thought, "Wow!  A guy (other than my dad) making an extra effort to get the door for me?  Nice!"  And then I realized that it was an automatic door.  He was being funny.  Ha. 

 

Gum Contribution

I just got home from a trip to Seattle.  Naturally I visited Pike Place Market.  Loved it.  Stopped at the original Starbucks, Pike Place Chowder, Beecher's Cheese, sampled chocolate linguine, and some new variety of apple.  (Whoa, I guess I ate a lot!)  Aaaand...  I found the gum wall!  Half of an alley covered in multiple layers of brilliantly colored candy!  Now that I'm home I realized something awful about it.  I didn't make a contribution!  There was a candy store right around the corner and I didn't take two minutes to buy a piece of gum and stick it on the wall.  Argh!  Why didn't I do it?!  (Possibly because it was 2 degrees, snowing, and my nose was starting to drip)  So... if anyone happens to be at the gum wall anytime soon, would you please stick a piece of blue gum on the wall for me and take a picture of it?  I'd be extremely grateful.