Episode 1: Bad blind date. Coffee at Starbucks. Theoretically he’s a good guy: great job, tall, intelligent, likes to do things, close to his family, never been in prison. But… when I walked into Starbucks I totally didn’t see him. I looked right at him and didn’t see him. That’s not good. He talked the entire time. He crossed his legs (men should never cross their legs). He made a couple comments about religion that I totally disagreed with (my eyes might have bugged out of my head). Completely uncomfortable. It ended with him asking if I wanted to meet again. I gave him the “Uh... Umm.. Suuuure….”
Episode 2: He left me a voicemail the next day saying I was a very attractive lady, but he didn’t think there was a connection. Yay! I was off the hook.
Episode 3: One year later I started going to a new church waaay across town from where Bad Date and I lived. I sat at a table (yes, a table at church) with one of my girlfriends. The lights dimmed and we sang a few songs. When the lights came up and I noticed a few more people had joined our table during the singing. We exchanged simple introductions, and then, I saw Bad Date sitting there. Right across the table from me. In all his cross-legged splendor. He introduced himself. He had no recollection that we had ever met. I about died. There had to be 20 tables and he sat at MY table? Wouldn’t you know that that night the church decided to have snacks afterward! They served a whole tray of snacks to each table. I couldn’t take it. I got up and changed tables.
Episode 4: One month later I found myself at a singles BBQ. I was enjoying my hot dog and baked beans, chatting it up with some friends. The place was packed! Every seat in the place was full! Our host pushed an empty chair by me and yelled to a late comer, “Hey Bad Date! You can sit over here by Amanda.” Seriously? There were 40 people there. Why put the chair by me? Bad Date proceeded to sit down and introduce himself to everyone at the table. He crossed his legs and I about died laughing. Yet again, he had no recollection of ever meeting me.
Present Day: I continue to see Bad Date at church once a month or so. I avoid him. Maybe he has a brain injury like Ten Second Tom on 50 First Dates?