I think I might have an eating disorder. Don't be fooled by my small build and constant snacking. Oh no, there is something else and it isn't normal.
In the past 6 months or so I feel like it has become increasingly trendy to say, "I don't eat fast food." I can understand the reasoning behind a statement like this. Fast food is not healthy, contains questionable ingredients, is poor quality, and not worth the money. I get this. I've seen Supersize Me. I even worked at Wendy's a couple summers. I don't want to eat fast food either!
I don't really want to make my lunch everyday. I'm lazy. It is my major flaw. So... here's what happened: One day last week my lunch break appeared at the usual time. I got in my car and had my normal daily inner dialogue, "What do I want to eat today? Not fast food... but what else is there? Umm..." and then it hit me! I could go to Whole Foods and pick up some fruit! Excellent. Except, when I got in that store I suddenly wasn't hungry for fruit anymore. It's all organic so it lacked that glossy sheen like the fruit in the real grocery stores. Lackluster fruit? Gross. So I forced myself to get a couple non-glossy plums and some overpriced $5 juice that I'm convinced was just bottled kool-aid with a fancy wrapper and made-up vitamins (seriously, "Bioflavonoid Complex"?). So I took my bag containing 2 plums and "juice" to my car and went to Wendy's drive-thru. Spicy chicken sandwich with no mayo, lettuce, or tomato, and add a packet of ranch dressing. Perfect. And that's when it happened. Without thinking I took that bag and put it in my Whole Foods bag. And I went back to work and carried in my Whole Foods bag containing contraband (The security guard looked quite pleased that I wasn't carrying in fast food. What he doesn't know won't hurt him), settled in at my desk and opened bag one and bag two. I ate my fast food and non-glossy plum, and drank my bioflavanoid complex kool-aid. I did it! A lunch that wasn't fast food... sort of.
If you ever see me with a Whole Foods bag please don't say anything. Just let me be happy with my own version of "not eating fast food".